The Benefits of Peer Support

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00:00:15.13 Hello. I am going to tell you about a group which I was invited to join in 1977,
00:00:22.15 when I was just a little over a year into starting my career
00:00:26.25 as an assistant professor in the Molecular Biology department at
00:00:30.06 the University of California at Berkeley.
00:00:32.01 A small group of faculty, staff, and postdocs
00:00:37.05 at the University of California at San Francisco
00:00:39.27 in scientific departments were establishing this group
00:00:44.02 as a forum for discussion of professional problems
00:00:47.29 with others who might provide relevant knowledge, experience, insight.
00:00:53.03 I wasn't sure how this would work for me,
00:00:55.26 but at the time I was invited I was the first and only woman in my department,
00:01:00.21 and the only member of the faculty who was not a full professor.
00:01:04.18 I knew I was, for obvious reasons, a little lonely in my professional life
00:01:10.03 and figured I could use some advice so I would give it a try.
00:01:13.10 I went to one meeting; I liked it; I stayed, and now thirty years later, yes, we are still meeting,
00:01:19.00 I am going to meetings every other Thursday with this group.
00:01:23.26 They saw me through being denied tenure a few years after I joined the group,
00:01:30.04 established myself in another career,
00:01:33.08 and then ultimately leaving that very exciting job to write a book about "Group", as we call it.
00:01:39.16 Now in this venue I am not going to have a lot of time to discuss how we meet,
00:01:45.20 how we structure our meetings, but I would like to convey to you
00:01:49.19 why I think Group has been so successful,
00:01:53.26 and why I recommend it to others, not only in academia,
00:01:58.16 but in a wide variety of activities and professions and stages of life.
00:02:04.26 I certainly feel that I, throughout the last 33 years,
00:02:08.29 have made better decisions because I discussed the possibilities and the hopes,
00:02:14.26 and my hesitations with Group.
00:02:16.03 Now, Group has always been predominantly made up of scientists,
00:02:21.21 although not exclusively, and it has evolved to be made up,
00:02:27.13 or consisting only of women.
00:02:30.09 But neither of those defines its purpose.
00:02:33.10 I think that the recurring themes that I am going to tell you some of,
00:02:37.29 that we come up with as professional challenges
00:02:41.26 and the strategy and the solutions that we work out
00:02:44.29 are really useful to a wide variety of people.
00:02:48.10 They are broadly applicable.
00:02:50.16 Now, our emphasis is on practical solutions to individual problems.
00:02:58.11 Though we have no designated expert,
00:03:02.29 we facilitate our own meetings. We take turns doing that.
00:03:05.13 We have no external expert, and each person works by saying how much time she thinks she needs
00:03:13.28 to present her issue and then to get the feedback that she wants.
00:03:16.28 The work can vary. It can be professional or personal.
00:03:20.26 You may want to make a rule in the group that it be only professional,
00:03:24.02 but you'll find that there are fine lines, gray areas between those two.
00:03:28.17 It can be specific, perhaps very short term:
00:03:32.08 how do I solve a particular interaction with a colleague,
00:03:35.06 how do I get papers written, or it can be long term:
00:03:37.18 how do I improve my health...my health status,
00:03:42.23 how do I live my life in a more...more relaxed and healthy fashion, something like that.
00:03:46.25 How do I find more time to consider the big picture in my profession?
00:03:52.20 Now, two very important elements of the group process are illustrated
00:04:00.29 when we get to the feedback section.
00:04:02.26 First of these elements is that group feedback is neutral,
00:04:08.21 unlike family members, coworkers, members of group are committed
00:04:17.27 to focusing just on the well-being and the best solution
00:04:21.10 for the person doing the work and without...doing that without a conflict of interest.
00:04:26.15 Now that said, of course, often group members are co-workers,
00:04:30.09 and then the co-worker has to work hard to put on the
00:04:33.09 "I am a group member" hat, and not worry about how someone's decision
00:04:36.22 about which courses to teach or whatever might effect them.
00:04:39.22 So we maintain that neutrality, and it is really important,
00:04:44.21 and it is easier because it is not just one mentor, they are a group of people.
00:04:48.11 The second is that it is honest, that may seem like a no-brainer,
00:04:51.28 but what I mean here is that we don't make nice.
00:04:53.27 Not only in giving advice and recommending possible solutions,
00:04:59.11 but in listening to the presentation of the problem.
00:05:02.07 If we think it is flawed, or if we think it is not the most useful way
00:05:06.08 to think about the problem, we say so.
00:05:08.11 The person doing the work can always say,
00:05:10.08 "No, you are wrong, I am right", but you need to speak what you feel.
00:05:15.09 Now I've put here "detect pigs".
00:05:17.03 That is a piece of jargon,
00:05:20.01 but I've left it in this talk because it's something that has served us well
00:05:24.23 and we really work on a lot.
00:05:27.09 A pig is a negative self-perception.
00:05:30.22 The two examples here contain one of the identifying characteristics,
00:05:37.01 which is that they often have the words always or never in them.
00:05:40.28 "I am lazy and disorganized about writing papers
00:05:43.27 and I always put it off until there is a huge crunch."
00:05:46.20 Well, the other element, not only does it say that "I am always" like this,
00:05:51.20 but it characterizes you the person instead of just saying what the issue is.
00:05:56.26 The issue is writing the papers,
00:05:58.25 not whether you fail to do it because you are lazy and disorganized.
00:06:02.28 So we use these identifications of pigs as a way to focus on the problem.
00:06:08.10 And, we try to replace the pig, once identified,
00:06:12.22 with the positive side.
00:06:14.26 I have lots of papers waiting to be written,
00:06:17.05 not because I am lazy and disorganized, but because
00:06:19.03 I am so productive and my students are so fabulous,
00:06:22.10 and I have this great amount of data and now I have to work on it.
00:06:26.21 So you go ahead. Now, a third element of the group process
00:06:32.00 that I want to mention here is confidentiality.
00:06:34.29 We are all very committed that nothing that gets said in Group
00:06:38.14 will be used outside of Group or repeated to anyone else
00:06:43.08 without specific permission from the person whose work it is,
00:06:47.26 perhaps, with the intention, which might be given with the intention of getting help. Okay.
00:06:54.06 After a person has gotten their feedback from others,
00:06:57.21 work out a strategy. This is often done in the context of a contract,
00:07:02.09 a precise formulation of objectives.
00:07:04.28 Much of the work in making a contract is to make it positive:
00:07:10.01 I am going...It is not "I am going to stop wasting time",
00:07:13.01 but "I am going to schedule time to get this done."
00:07:16.15 And, possible. Chew it up into little bits if you need to, to make it possible.
00:07:20.26 The contract, depending on the work, can be short term:
00:07:24.23 "I am going to do this in the next 2 weeks", or
00:07:27.04 "I would like to establish a pattern in my life to do this."
00:07:30.17 Strokes and social time at the end I won't mention,
00:07:33.09 except to say that it is very important to keep those,
00:07:37.12 that, to us to have that time because it means that we stay focused
00:07:41.03 on the formal work during that part of the meeting.
00:07:44.05 Okay. I am now going to move to just select two
00:07:49.03 of the many recurring themes that we have, that have come up.
00:07:54.14 To describe to you a little bit of what we do,
00:07:59.05 and what we talk about.
00:08:00.27 Fifteen of these recurring themes, things that come up again and again in the work,
00:08:06.03 form fifteen chapters of the book.
00:08:08.18 So the first one that I am going to elaborate on is
00:08:10.16 "Accepting...Liking...Celebrating: Appreciating ourselves and being entitled to success."
00:08:15.16 This is work about forgiving ourselves:
00:08:19.27 that is the accepting part.
00:08:20.24 And then moving... forgiving our mistakes,
00:08:22.26 and then moving on from there to celebrating our achievements,
00:08:26.22 which in turn, requires a sense of entitlement.
00:08:30.02 I am going to read briefly from the book to explain the quote,
00:08:34.12 "Maybe I AM the Queen of Sheba."
00:08:36.21 Group's focus on self celebration and entitlement
00:08:40.11 arose not from abstract discussions about obtaining personal happiness,
00:08:45.13 but rather from practical work on professional survival.
00:08:49.04 To do a job well, people must be able to ask
00:08:52.13 for all that they want and need, without apology.
00:08:55.04 That stance requires a sense of entitlement that we often lack.
00:08:59.08 One person told us that when she thinks of making a request,
00:09:02.29 she hears her mother reproving, "Who do you think you are...the Queen of Sheba?"
00:09:06.19 This is the childhood message of don't ask for too much,
00:09:11.20 lest you seem greedy.
00:09:12.24 We suggested instead this affirmation, "Maybe I AM the Queen of Sheba"
00:09:17.16 to prepare for making a request or a demand.
00:09:20.01 This has become a group catchphrase.
00:09:22.16 Whatever we need, a salary increase, equipment, secretarial help,
00:09:27.02 we have to be unequivocal in our belief in the validity of the request.
00:09:31.19 There will be plenty of negative energy from other sources,
00:09:35.02 and we shouldn't contribute to it.
00:09:37.13 Now, a contract on this subject could,
00:09:39.29 for example, include the sentence, "I will act as if what I want is most important."
00:09:46.28 A lot of the work on "Accepting...Liking...Celebrating"
00:09:50.25 is recognizing your achievements at the end of the day
00:09:53.14 when nothing that you did was on your to do list,
00:09:55.15 or seemed to be in your job description,
00:09:57.10 to remember and list briefly what you have done.
00:10:00.22 Another part then goes on to making your achievements,
00:10:05.04 taking credit for your achievements in a public forum,
00:10:08.12 which is important to our success in most careers.
00:10:12.17 The second recurring theme that I have chosen is "Choice and Change":
00:10:19.18 making choices with a belief in your right to make them.
00:10:24.03 Now, it is a fundamental of human psychology
00:10:27.09 that change is stressful no matter how positive it is.
00:10:31.07 And many groups, I think, work on the principle
00:10:35.09 of trying to encourage people, help them
00:10:37.23 through change that needs to be made or has already been decided upon.
00:10:42.08 We do some of that, egging people on through something
00:10:45.26 that they already know they are going to do, but is scary.
00:10:48.05 We try much more to focus on identifying
00:10:51.01 when there are choices to be made
00:10:52.19 and deciding which ones can be made...what...what is possible.
00:10:58.14 It is interesting to note that change
00:11:02.22 that you make through personal choice can be, in fact,
00:11:05.18 more stressful than one that is just forced upon you
00:11:09.19 because although there is a much greater possibility for a positive upside,
00:11:16.29 satisfaction, it is also all on you if something goes wrong
00:11:21.22 because you've made the choice.
00:11:23.09 And the quote here, "Making a different choice doesn't mean the ones you made before are wrong"
00:11:27.11 has been a highlight of career changes.
00:11:29.18 Oh my gosh! Was all of my training to waste
00:11:33.02 because I decided to do something else?
00:11:36.10 Okay. I am just basically going to list
00:11:39.01 a few others of these recurring themes,
00:11:41.14 which each merit a chapter in the book.
00:11:45.05 Managing Time and Establishing Equilibrium.
00:11:47.19 Problem for most of us.
00:11:50.04 Institutional politics and strategy.
00:11:52.06 Something none of us had any training in, but had enormous effect on our careers.
00:11:59.03 Writing. Giving talks. I've already alluded to that one.
00:12:02.06 Taking care of ourselves. Life is a limited resource.
00:12:07.00 It is an important thing, not just something
00:12:10.12 to do after we have finished our work, to take care of our bodies, our minds.
00:12:14.03 Family ties and obligations. A much discussed issue
00:12:17.15 of balance between personal and professional life.
00:12:21.18 And lastly, Respect your personal instinct, your goals, your creativity.
00:12:25.28 Recognize that what you think and feel about your endeavor,
00:12:31.02 whatever it may be, is important.
00:12:33.13 Now this group of people, these women who are in the group
00:12:37.22 I've described, have maintained group and it's not always easy to maintain it,
00:12:43.01 for over thirty years, as a matter of personal survival.
00:12:46.11 Why then do we...have we felt that it is important
00:12:50.07 to share this to possibly breach the limits of confidentiality to,
00:12:57.01 that we take so seriously, to have this book in existence,
00:13:01.15 and to tell other people about some of our professional problems.
00:13:06.09 And, one reason is that minorities, including women,
00:13:12.04 often cite, most often cite,
00:13:14.23 isolation and marginalization as a reason
00:13:19.29 that they avoid or drop out of after starting
00:13:26.18 engineering, math, science careers at research institutions.
00:13:32.12 It would be a shame given the needs of society
00:13:37.00 to utilize all of the available talent,
00:13:40.05 if half to two thirds of that talent, of those people,
00:13:43.12 are discouraged from pursuing these fields to their highest levels.
00:13:48.12 So, group can help. It combats these things.
00:13:51.23 I think it is a good idea.
00:13:53.21 I'd like other people to try it.
00:13:55.23 So, in closing Group provides a forum for practical problem solving,
00:14:02.04 for individual issues, an antidote to isolation and competition.
00:14:07.01 I put the swimming with sharks metaphor in here in my logo.
00:14:11.08 Celebration. Solace. Shared experience.
00:14:15.09 I am not alone. I am not crazy. And, in a condition of complete confidentiality
00:14:23.00 so that you are safe when you are having these discussions.
00:14:26.04 Group is about the power of not going it alone,
00:14:28.23 and that is an enormous source of power. Thank you.

This Talk

Speaker: Ellen Daniell

Audience:

Educators of H. School / Intro Undergrad
Student
Educators of Adv. Undergrad / Grad
Researcher
Educators

Recorded: October 2010

Talk Overview

In this talk, Dr. Daniell talks about the benefits of peer support. Throughout her career, Daniell benefitted from the support of a group of fellow female scientists.

Speaker Bio

Ellen Daniell

Dr. Daniell is the author of the book “Every Other Thursday. Stories and Strategies from Successful Women Scientists”. Daniell was an Assistant Professor of Molecular Biology at the University of California, Berkeley and worked in the biotechnology industry before deciding to write about her group experience. Continue Reading